Did you miss Lund’s panel last month on How to Talk to Your Kids About Sexual Health and Pregnancy Prevention?
No problem! Firstly, you can watch the whole thing here:
At the bottom of this post you will find links to the useful resources shared by the experts on the panel – Kelsey Francis-Fath, Health & Prevention Educator at Lund; Abby Wanserski, Teen/Tween Librarian at the Fletcher Free Library; Paul Eley, Basement Teen Center in Montpelier; and Dr. Erica Gibson, UVM Medical Center Adolescent Primary Care Physician and Medicine Specialist.
Here are 12 tips and ideas suggested by the panelists in broaching potentially awkward or embarrassing questions and conversations with children and adolescents about sex, anatomy and birth control.
1. Be honest. Use the real anatomical names for body parts and processes but also help kids to understand the slang words and terms they might hear from other sources.
2. Be respectful. Give information in an upfront way and then offer your own thoughts or family values on a subject or idea as appropriate.
3. Be sex positive – sexuality is a normal, healthy, important part of being human and should not be shrouded in shame, guilt, embarrassment or disgust. Be body positive – everyone’s body is different, everyone grows differently and it is all OK.
4. Talk about consent. Stress the importance of open, honest communication between partners before, during and after engaging in any sort of sexual or intimate activity. Model this from an early age by asking your kids before hugging or kissing them.
5. Talk about anatomy. Teach where things are on the body, their correct anatomical names, and what their function is. Don’t just focus on male bodies with boys or female bodies with girls. Explain and talk about both.
6. Focus on healthy relationships. Talk about what mutual affection, respect, and communication looks like. Model this in your own relationships. Talk about how there are multiple aspects to a healthy relationship – it’s not just about sex and the dynamic between partners should be equal.
7. Avoid horror stories and/or graphic pictures, particularly of STIs, as a way to educate kids and teens. Instead, help the young person understand the short and long term impacts of unprotected sex and help them think of how these might affect their life and goals.
8. Laugh about it. It’s OK!
9. Try not to be too squeamish. Face things in a matter of fact manner and don’t get taken down by the kids’ giggles or awkwardness. Perhaps initiate conversations while driving or engaged in an activity that can take some of the pressure off.
10. If you don’t know the answer to a question, that’s OK. Be honest and say that you don’t know. Your pediatrician or the library can be great resources for verified, non-judgmental information and answers. If you do your own research, make sure the source you use is reputable and factual.
11. Be an approachable adult. Be open to conversation, questions and coming back to the topic more than once. Affirm their questions and make sure they know that it is always OK to ask absolutely anything. Check in with your kids after a few days and ask them if they have any other questions or had any other thoughts.
12. Start the conversation now. The resources below can help you.
6 Tips to Jumpstart Meaningful Conversations
Tips and Tools for Champions – Youth aged 18+
Tips and Tools for Champions – Youth aged 13-17
